Whole for the Holidays Part 3

WholeHolidaysHere we are. The final countdown. If you’re still checking in on this series, you are one of a special crew. You may not even admit it, but at least a little Bah Humbug is in there. And you know what? It’s okay. You can have that. Just grab it. Claim that Bah Humbug and love it. You are allowed to be whoever you are, even when the rest of the world is telling you to be different. Eh, maybe you’re not a Bah Humbugger, but one of those folks who have one of us Bah Humbuggers in your life (bless you) and want to know if anything will actually make us tick in December…

We’ve been having a little chat about the dark side of the holidays (yes, blatant and completely unsponsored Star Wars reference) and have covered a WHOLE lot of territory – expectations, history, but there is one last bit. One last eensy, teensy bit.

What’s left? Fear. Ugh. Fear. Fear of being judged. Fear of being inadequate. Fear of having changed too much or not having changed enough. Fear of not measuring up. Fear of not being appreciated or wanted. Fear that the whole day won’t be good. I have a couple of thoughts about this whole fear thing, specifically in relation to the holiday gathering scene. Most of those thoughts can be summed up with a very just pre-adolescent retort: “So what?” So what if someone judges us? So what? It doesn’t matter if they’re right or wrong. It’s theirs. That judgment is theirs. Let them stew in it, right there with those stewed tomatoes (no I’m not serving them as they are a part of the food nostalgia that I did not care for).

FearSO many of the rest of these fears are all about paying a lot more attention to what’s going on in someone else’s head and heart than what’s in your own. So what if they think that? So what? Let them think whatever they want and you go back to thinking what you think – you remember all that jazz about setting realistic expectations and trusting others to do the same. Think that thought. Think the thought that you WOULD be thinking if you weren’t so afraid of messing it all up. How about this thought: what if it turned out that being you was absolutely perfectly enough? Sit with that for just a minute. You are enough. How would the day be different if you believed you are enough? How much easier would it be to let go of the expectations, let go of the history, and let go of your fear if you just thought you are enough.

What kind of holiday are you ready to have now? Is it possible to redefine it? To reshape it? To potentially even experience it as a holiday – a break – a respite. A nice deep breath in the middle of the dark part of the year. No expectations, no history, no fear. Just a respite. For you too, because yes you do deserve it you amazing thing. Go be you. Go rock that holiday.

But wait, Little Sis, you didn’t talk about food, like how to not completely blow it out at the holiday table… You’re right I didn’t. If you need to blow it out at the holiday table, be my guest (well, not literally, at least not without calling). If you want some help to not blow it out, please check out our holiday eating tips designed to help you maintain any recently gained momentum or just to not roll away in a food induced coma at the end of the whole thing. And if you do roll away in a food induced coma, I promise we won’t judge you even if you’d say so what if we did. 😉

 

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