Frankenstorm Frankenpatties Frankengood

There is a fine line between preparedness and panic and while I’ve not yet swung into panic, I confess that weather events get me a little looney.  The unpredictability, the noise, the fact that I’m responsible for small people and a VERY neurotic dog…  I’m not a good storm buddy.  If you live in the U.S. and don’t have your head planted firmly under a rock, you’ve likely heard that the East Coast (coast being used VERY broadly here) is taking a beating, and we are about 36 hours out from the most intense part of the storm.  

I’ve tried not to act as though there the ZombiePocalypse is imminent; however, I did see some wisdom in loading up on lighting devices, getting some bottled water, some food items that will be easily dealt with in low power situations, and a few craft items for the kids to interrupt anxiety.  I’ve also made an effort to eat up items that would be unlikely to make it through a power outage of any duration.  THIS is how I come up with a recipe friends.  I’m not proud, but near panic and a desire not to waste food can really get me moving in the kitchen.  So, I’ve pulled together a strange assortment of items to make fabulously green patties (just in time for Halloween :-)) that we ate like burgers, but that if I made again I would likely serve more like falafel – smaller patties rather than one large one. Perhaps like my daughter, I admit to a certain appreciation for small food.

Given the landscape of my fridge, I must concede that this is a strange assembly of ingredients, but I’ll give some suggestions for replacements if you’d like some good green eating for the monsters in your tribe and don’t have the same sampling currently available.

Gluten Free Frankenpatties

  • 1/2 onion chopped
  • 1 large clove garlic, smashed
  • 1 1/4 c chickpeas (I suspect any bean would work)
  • 3/4 c almond milk mash (leftover from making almond milk, alternatively I would suggest using mashed potatoes)
  • 2 oz kale (a couple of generous handfuls, any hearty green would work)
  • 2 T sunflower cheese (or mayo)
  • 3 T almond milk (or other liquid)
  • 2 T tahini (or other nut butter)
  • 1 1/2 T Bragg’s or soy sauce
  • 1 t salt
  • 3/4 t dry yellow mustard
  • 2/3 c garbanzo flour (you could probably use just about any flour here, although I like the flavor, and the gluten free-ness of the chickpea)
  • 1.5 c cooked quinoa (or rice or whatever other grain you have leftover)

Preheat oven to 325.  In pan on stove, warm pan with a splash of olive oil.  Add onions and cook on low-medium until onions are soft.  Add garlic and cook until you can smell it (about 30 seconds).  Put contents of pan and ingredients up until the garbanzo flour into a food processor.  You may need to add the kale a little at a time.  Add the flour a bit at a time until the mixture is wet, but will hold shape.  In a bowl, add the quinoa and stir to distribute. Form dough into patties. If the mixture is too wet, add bit more flour.  Add olive oil to pan and warm over medium heat.  Cook patties about 6-8 minutes per side and then move to oven for about 10 minutes to cook through.  There you go.  A perfectly spooky green dinner, delicious with burger fixings, or as I had mine, with a nice big dollop of smoky baba ghanoush.  Delish.

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34 responses

  1. Ha, ha, ha, ha! Frankenstorm = frankenfood! Ok, while I am concerned for you and the people in the path of the storms/Frankenstorm, this (your invention) is hilarious. That you create something so odd just to not waste the food makes me love you!!! I hate wasting food, there are people who don’t have food and it is such a waste of money! I might try this! (Oh, I also love how you say that almost any close substitute will do! Experiment with what is actually in the fridge, right?)

  2. Green patties for Halloween sound perfect, and these do sound very yummy! Necessity and power outages are the mother of invention. Hang in there, and come on down if it looks like you’ll be power-less for a long stretch :-)

    • Thanks. I was happy with how very green they came out – the power of kale at work! We’ll see how it all goes; in a moment of fear-based weakness I bought ingredients for smokes so that if we’re spending all of our time in front of the fireplace, we can melt some chocolate to warm our cockles.

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  5. it’s amazing to see what we can come up with in dire situations (ie no power or frankenstorm)… you did well, sister :)

    thank you for sharing with the Wednesday Fresh Foods Link Up! I looks forward to seeing you again this week with more wonderful seasonal & fresh/real food posts. xo, kristy.

    • We are all well – out of power and in cold and dark for a few days, but no harm to home, health or hearth. Certainly nothing compared to what’s going on for so many north of here. Thanks for your kind words and good thoughts.

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